第七届全国创新英语作文大赛优胜作文选登

http://www.sina.com.cn 2011年03月20日 12:46 新浪教育

　　新浪教育讯日前第十届全国创新英语大赛工作已正式启动，以下为第七届全国创新英语作文大赛优胜作文选登：

　　复赛试题：

　　Directions:

　　With the development of computers, more and more people are working with computers. But, we know that computers are harmful as well as useful and helpful .Here, you are asked to write an essay on the topic “The Advantages and Disadvantages of Computers”. You can give some examples and facts to support your opinion. Your essay should be written in English with no less than 300 words within 60 minutes。

　　The Advantages and Disadvantages of Computers

　　李彦妮

　　辽宁市鞍山市第一中学10届14班

　　Nowadays, the idea of progress loorns so large in the modern world, and the progress of a particular kind is actually taking place around us. In this circumstances, computers which have a great help come out with the wisdom and hard-working of human beings. It do have given human a tremendous help, it, however, has brought to us its harmness at the some time。

　　The computers can make a great help for us in this high speed society. In the light of this statement, it is computers that can store documents for us which is essential for us, it is computers that can shorten the time in seeking useful information instead of looking for knowledge from a large sums of books and it is computers that can make it possible to comunicate with different people who are far away from you. In a word, we can't live nomally without computers in such a high-tech society。

　　On the contary, having helped us a lot, computers are harmful to people at the same time, especially the adolescents. First of all, sitting in front of the computer may do harm to our eyes. On the other hand, computers not only bring us useful information but also entertainments. Being weak in controlling themselves, those poor adolescents are more easier to get crazy about the fantasy world. Seeing a vivid picture which is about a son who gets stuck in computers and phones to his parents downstairs to bring dinner for him. I realized deeply that the computers really have their disadvantages。

　　According to the statements above, it can not be superficial to simply say that computers are good or bad for us as every coin has both sides. Personally, I still consider that a computer can bring us convinience and high speed which is extolled to all the people even though it is a two-edged weapon. We can learn well punctuated by those purchasable wells of wisdom - computers。

　　专家建议：

　　本文个别语言使用不够地道并且偶尔出现句子表意不明的情况，因此建议该考生在平时的学习中尽量多阅读原汁原味的英语文章，有意识地积累地道的英语表达，不断提高语言运用能力。

　　专家点评：

　　本篇文章段落结构基本清晰，第一段交代文章主题，第二段主要说明计算机的优势，第三段罗列计算机给人们带来的害处，最后一段是对文章的总结和作者个人看法，整篇文章思路比较清晰。文章用词较为准确，也出现了不少词组及句型，语法多样性也有所体现。能看出这绝对是高中生中佼佼者完成的文章。不足之处在于有个别语言点不够地道，希望以后能进一步雕琢语言，使写作水平进一步提升。

　　What Computers Bring to Us

　　李潇然

　　辽宁省大连市辽师大附中高三2班

　　With the advent of computers, the worid is changing rapidly and profoundly. The influence they bring to us is obvious and far-reaehing. Hence, people voice growing concern over what computers buing to us。

　　The vital flavour that computers alo the soicety can't be ignored. In the finst place, for students, they're beneficial to our studying. By surfing or the Internet, we can gain some knowledge which can't be grasped from textbooks. In the second place, as an approach of meelia, they play a noticeable role in spreading the cultoral information. In the third place, they can simplify pleaty of work, which intensifies the capacity in the work of scientific development. Last but by no means least, computers, in my view, boost the prosperity of global economy. As is known to au, they convert the world into a village. It's just this cause that promotes the economical improvement。

　　Nevertheless, every coin has its two sieles. In spite of the convinience, we should also fastea our attention upon the drawbacks. For one thing, some people are addicteel to the not real world they create. They lose therselves in it and for sure, they lose their dreams and amlitions. But the worid is just liks enchenting bubble, it's so fragile that can't stand a gentle touch. For auother, someone makes utmost of the significant influence they bring to pose a threat to the indisidual, the soicety and even the nation. What's worse, someone called locher by producing vims destys millions of computert ever。

　　Weighing pros and cons, from my perspective, we can safely come to the condusion that computers contribute much to our human being to some extent, however, we ought to be confronted with the chanllenges of the moral behavions they lead to. In my eyes, only by realizing the stuff of them can we elevate the protential valus of them and create a shining tomorrow for ouselues。

　　专家建议：

　　建议改考生平时多练习写作，在写作过程中要求自己保持思路清晰，头脑清醒，做到每写一句话都是为文章中心服务的。另外建议平时多阅读权威英语文章，阅读的同时去体会什么叫做言之有物，什么叫做逻辑严谨；当然，还要有意识地积累地道准确的英文表达。

　　专家点评：

　　本文结构清晰明了，严格按照议论文“引言-主体-结尾”的结构完成，词汇运用较为高级，句型句式较丰富，语法应用较准确。不足之处在于文章段落内部逻辑关系混乱，有些语句表意不明，一些例证和观点是与本文主题完全无关的内容，更有个别语句是毫无存在意义的空洞内容，望日后写作时杜绝此现象的发生。