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第七届全国创新英语作文大赛优胜作文选登(4)

http://www.sina.com.cn   2011年03月20日 12:46   新浪教育 官方微博

  The Advantages and Disadvantages of Computers

  褚婧雅

  湖南省长沙市天心区长郡中学高二0612班

  Nobody denies that we can live a colourful life with computers. No matter who we are, no matter what kind of job we do, we all need a computer to surf the Internet or spend on playing computers for recreations. However, computers bring us both advantages and disadvantages。

  Computers provide us with various of imformation. We can get a knowledge of news, advertisements and even great events about the whole world. During the 2008 Olympic games, people can learn a lot about the competitions, sports games, reports or the results of the Olympic Games. Computers really supply us with vivid images about the society。

  In addition, computers make we study more effectivly. It is undoubtedly that lots of students are able to get large amounts of e-books from computers. For example, we always use computers as tools to learn English or other popular languages. Stressed out as we are, we listen to the computers and speak aloud by following it. Moreover, adults also get a lot from computers when they want to study or in need of piles of files about their work。

  Generally speaking, with the Internet, we find it easier to share achievements, happiness and sorrows with friends in the world through communications on computers. Not only can we talk about funny things, but also we can know more about the different cultures from different backgrounds. A majority of people are engaged in commucating with friends through QQ or MSN. It is yeally an attractive and happy thing to enjoy in our spare time. Achievements, happiness and sorrows in daily life are all got across to each sides of the “bridge”, and we can eventually satisfy our inner desire and become more energetic。

  As a matter of fact, I'm afraid, some teens are hooked on playing computer games. It possiblly makes them go astray. These students have been addicted to computers and only few of them can be saved from this awful troubles. How dissapointed their parerts are! What can hopefully relief them? As for this situation, in fact, computers paly a cruel killer that avoid students from studying and even ruin their bright future。

  In conclusion, without computers, there is little chance to change our life and we may not live a life so efficiently. But if some people who not take care of computers, they will loose their beautiful tomorrow. So please regard computers as coins with two sides。

  专家建议:

  建议该考生针对自己的写作语言还有必要再雕琢的情况,平时在学习中学课本或是阅读课外权威英语材料时,有意识地积累文章中的英语表达,以便以后在写作过程中使用。另外,文章中偶尔出现逻辑错误,这就要求考生平时有意识地多阅读英文议论文章,并且观察与模仿文章中严谨精确的逻辑关系,提升自己的逻辑思考能力。

  专家点评:

  该篇文章分为多个段落,段落间结构基本清晰,内容丰满充沛。文章语言运用绝对超出了现阶段高中生的平均水平,词汇运用较为准确和高级,语法及句型运用也较为丰富和多变,是一篇不可多得的中学生英语文章。但文章中的个别语句还有空间再进行雕琢,可使文章语言更地道更严谨。

  The advantages and disadvantages of Computers

  陈瑶

  江苏省泰州市泰州中学高二5班

  In this imformation age, computers are necessary in our daily life. However, according to personal experience and personality type, some people hold the view that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages while others think the disadvantages corry more weight than the advantages. From my point of view, the computers are harmful as well as useful and helful and we should take advantage of the computers properly and avoid the disadvantages of the computers。

  Among countless disadvantages of the computers, there've three compiuous ones. It's convenient for us to search for information on the Internet. The Internet is just like a library that folled with many books. Whenever you have questoons and problems, you can find the answers you want with the computer. Also, communicating with others on the Internet is very convenient and cheap. For instance, if you talk to others with telephones, especially for long-distance phone, you will pay much money for it, Nevertheless, if you use the Internet to communicate with others, you just need to spend little money. Lastly, it's very useful for us students to study with the computers. Take me for an example, I took many exercises that can improve my lestening with the computer in the pase. I also gain a lot of information which is benefinial to my study on the Internet。

  In contrast, the computers also has many disadvantages. First, many Students are dedicated in playing computer games, as a result, their grades become very low after playing them. Take my classmate for an example, previous to playing computer games, his marks were very high in the examinations, However, after he lost himself in computer garnes, his marks fell down sharply. Furthermore, the Internet will spread some bad things, such as voilence and bule films。

  Every coin has both sides, and the computer is no exception. It's wise for us to reduce the dosadvantages of the computer, and make the computer play its great role. We must keep a clear mind and de what is useful to improve ourselves with the computer。

  专家建议:

  建议该生平时在阅读英文读物时,有意识地积累地道的英文表达,相信坚持一段时间,英文写作水平就会有进一步提高。

  专家点评:

  本文结构清晰有序,段落设置合理得当,难得的是,文章每一段的第一句都是该段的主题句,对于一个中学生来说,能对写作英语议论文的规范有如此到位的落实,实在不常见。本文词汇运用较为高级,句型句式较为丰富,语法应用较为准确。不足之处在于有些英文表达还可以更地道一点~

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