第八届全国创新英语作文大赛优胜作文选登(2)
My understandings about volunteer work
罗智圆
四川省成都市成都实验外国语学校2011级9班
Nowadys, more and more voluntary organzations exist in the world. Worldwide Red Cross and Red Crescent is the most famous one. It was established in 1863 by a Swiss bussinessman after he had witnessed the appalling casualties of wars who simply died from lack of medical services. In addition, the volunteers in the May 12 earthquake and the 2008 Beijing Olympics have touched people ou over the world. Their spirrt of bravery and sacrifice as well as love, have been branded on people's mind. In my opinion, volunteer work is a kind of thing that we can't ignore and it will definitely take a more active pant in the word in many aspects in the future。
First of all, volunteer work promote the well-beings of individuals. It helps the victims of wars, earthquakes, colcanic erruptions and so on. Victims in the disasters no longer worry that they may die from lack of care. Volunteers also bring love and respect to the victims and they'll reassure the victims and help the victims regain the courage to suruive. On the other hand, volunteer work also prouide precious opportunities for volunteers so that they will meet more people, know more about the would and obtain more experionces。
Secondly, volunteer work also do good to families. Many families are apart in course of the disasters. Wife missed her husband and children missed their father. They will feel lonely and hapeless and they'll lose hope in life. It is holpful that volunteers accompany them and reassure them. With a lot of people surrounding them and helping them, they will feel they are loved and have the courage to continue the life and reconstruct family。
Thirdly, volunteer work also has a good effect on communities and the world. In May 12 earthquake and Beijing Olympics, volunteers have set a great example. In the 2008 Beijing Olympics, volunteers help visitors find the way to statiums and hotels. They always greet visitors with a beautiful smile. Victors who have been to Beijing applaud for their patience and elegance. They pass the philosophy to communities and the world in action: “One world, one dream. If everyone gives a hand to person in need, the world will become more beautiful。” Many people elevote their lives to voluntary work and they represent the highest level of moral conduct of human beings. I believe that more and more people will join the volunteer work. It is encouraging to think that voluntary organizations like the Red Cross and Red crescent exist and are dedicated to peace and hospmony。
If we have faith in ourselves, no mountain is too high to climb. One of the greatest achievements in life is to do what people think you can't do. Although we face a lot of severe problems such as environment. Conflicts. lack of recources and natural disasters, with the colinteer work existing, we still have a bright future。
专家点评：该生语言组织较为紧密，逻辑比较缜密，用词和句型都比较高级，但是拼写和语法上面还有待修炼，而且尤其要杜绝中式英语问题。
专家建议：中式英语是以汉语思维方式为出发点，用英汉词典上的单一词义，根据英语语法编造出来的英语句子。中国式英语在中国人之间可以勉强沟通思想，但是在以英语为母语的国家或人群中无法使用，或不能被接受。中国式英语在使用英语的中国人中普遍存在。我们在学习时一定要杜绝“望文生义”，“一词一义”，“直接翻译”等固有的思维模式，多看看经典的英语文章，会对我们的学习大有益处。
The volunteer work，the great work
刘晓菲
山东省胶南市第一中学高三19班
Dear little cousin。
I'm glad to receive a letter from you. You mentioned that you wanted to being a volunteer, eagerly, who is always energetic, glamouvous and able to have close connections with something really “big”. But do you at all understand the whole meaning of being a volunteer? Have you ever thought about volunteer work's greatness to the world around?
Volunteer work is more than “good-looking”， as you mentioned. It means commitment, enthusiasim from the bottom of heart and responsibility. Never have you seen a volunteer complain much, right? Those volunteers, especially who participated the vesuce work of the May 12 earthquake, donated all their time and energy to the great volunteer work, some of which might be dangerous and tiresome. Even some senior high, just the same age as me, volunteered to “fight the battle”， which made me ashame of myself, for I could have done the same but I didn't。
Meanuhile, volunteer work, because of its greatness, is important to promote the well-being of individuals, families, communitives and world at large. In this busy, modern society, people rush for almost everything. But few people'd stop and think about how life should go on. Too busy are we that we lose the sense of connection with families, communities, the world and even our true selves. Volunteer work gives us a chance to be real human being. Loosened from day-to-day routine, we are more likely to act like a cell of this beautiful world. Thus, all things, like families, communities, world and indiciduals will be konded together to work for “the Greater Good”。
My little cousin, I do hope my words will make you twely understant volunteer work, for it is such great work, full of commitment, value and responsibility。
Yours。
Care-for-you Cousin
专家建议：
提高写作的方式除了平时大量的阅读，更多的依赖于练习，如果平时不怎么练笔，在正式写的时候最容易出现具有中国特色的表达，感觉像是用中文翻译过来的。所以建议考生每周坚持写一些自己比较感兴趣的东西，提高写作能力。
专家点评：
这篇文章总体来说条理很清楚，可以看得出来，这位学生在短语句型方面积累了不少，但是需要注意的是口语表达和书面书还是有一定差别的，有些口语的句子在书面语当中并不多用，甚有时是禁用的。
特别说明：由于各方面情况的不断调整与变化，新浪网所提供的所有考试信息仅供参考，敬请考生以权威部门公布的正式信息为准。
