第八届全国创新英语作文大赛优胜作文选登(5)
Volunteer work is necessary
郭昕硕
河北省衡水市衡水中学高三3班
There is no doubt that volunteer work in China has been brought into focus throughout the world. We presented so much last year, which indeed gave the world a big surprise. Our spirits, our merits, everything we showed during the grand gathering and the disaster proved that volunteer work is necessary。
As far as I am concerned. The work of helping others without payment can be of great benefit for individuals. Apart from the experience, the progress we make during the process is enough. Time permitting, we can take more responsibility outside the school and gain the pleasure。
Everyone builds our society. With the economical development, we are no longer worry about our essential needs in our life. Therefore, tospare more time and to give others a helping hand can just be the right choice. Only by this means can we get to know each other better and make contributions to our society。
Moreover, it is certain that there are still so many developing countries all over the world. From Ethiopia to DPRK, too many people are in badly demand of help. Our gerosity and warth means a lot. Furthermore, organization of all kinds about volunteer work will surely accelerate the process。
Taking the above-mentioned factors into consideration. Raising our owareness and be helpful can definitely be so necessary. The connection between us must be permanent with our efforts of volunteer work. Therefore volunteer work is not only a political world, but a lively work related to you and me. So it stands to reason that volunteer work is necessary。
专家建议：
建议作者多阅读整篇的英语文章，增强自己的“篇章感“，因为在该篇文章中存在的问题主要是段落见缺乏紧密联系，所以造成各段之间的孤立感的形成，建议作者以后写作时注意段落间的合理过渡。
专家点评：
整体结构很好，尤其第一段开门见山的明确了文章的主题，给读者非常好的第一印象。唯一不足的是第三段与上文的衔接很生硬，并且没有段落主题句，会影响文章整体的逻辑感。另外，有个别句子出现表意不明的现象，单词拼写也存在问题，所以希望以后写作时注意细节。
Volunteer work: an unique lesson
刁文卿
辽宁省大连市大连市第十二中学高二9班
With the rapid development of techndogy(technology) and communication in our society, the sense of competitiveness and cooperation filled our mind steadily. At the same time, the owarness(awareness) of helping others in people's mind also became stronger and stronger. This situation led to the start of a new “job”—volunteer。
We just found from the passage that the increasing number of the vdunteer(volunteer) touched all the people home and abroad. And I argue the point that volunteer work plays an integral part in our daily life especially for the youth in China。
First and foremest(foremost)， nowadays, parents can only have one child and he or she may be given the best care of the other members in the family. As a consequence, the only clild(child) may become selfish and self-centered unconciously(unconsciously)。
The volunteer work, as a special lessons can help the youngster put the other people's feeling before theirs and ask for their opinion before taking actions. Second volunreer(volunteer) work is not only a training of do others a favour but a process of improving your cooperation ability as well。
Last but not least, volunteer work is an unique lesson that we cant(cannot) get in our school. Former leader Jiangzemin said: the main goal in education is making students more creative and helping them reach their full potential. And in my poirt(point) view, it is volunteer work which can help them reach their full potential but not our school lessons. This kind of pratical practise can make us know more about what is going on in our society and in the world, for instance, the May 12 earthquake in wenchuan and the wonderful 2008 Beijing Olympic Game and so on。
All the evidence discussed in the above awalysis the points to my conclusion that volunteer work is an unique lesson for our teenagers as it make us know more. do more and think more. And I believe that the accumulation of volunteer will rising rapily and it will lead our country to a brighter future。
专家建议：
写完作文后，自己通读一遍，这样会减少些不必要的拼写和语法错误，建议多学过的词组造句，这样表达会更丰富，也可以多看些优秀范文。
专家点评：
文章表达清楚，语言较好，但结构有些不清晰，第二点在文章中没有展开说。时态用的有些混乱。总体不错。
Volunteer Life
代昱丞
辽宁省本溪市高级中学高二15班
As we know, “volunteer” is a kind of “work” that you offer to do it, and also, it is for free。
From schools to shops, from Olympics to world wars, volunteers are everywhere. And to Chinese people, last year is an impresive(impressive) year because of volunteers. In May 12 earthquake and the 2008 Beijing Olympic Gams, volunteers played a really important role. They touched every Chinese's heart, including me。
I don't usually have chances to do volunteer's work, but I have some creative ideas about it. In my opinion, helping others is a kind of volunteer and it is important to our lives. We can't become a volunteer in poor rural area, but we can help classmates sowe(solve) a math problem; we can't join the Olympics, but we can take part in a sports meeting in school and develope the spirit of “higher, faster, stronger” in other ways; we can't go to Wenchuan, but we can send our “gifts” there. In fact, we are volunteering everyday and everywhere, but we ignore it sometimes。
Volunteer is not a simple matter about yourself, it also has great influence to your life, your family, even the world. If there are not volunteers any more, everyone is selfish and vain, the world will be a lonely place. Volunteer can bring people warm and kind feelings and help improve your personality. When you are volunteering, you'll find the beauty of the world and life and you really feel and touch some hard experience, it is able to lead you to treat your family, your life, your fridends(friends) more previously. My dad once told me a story: at the time of Beijing Olympic Games one year's flashback, some volunteers said that time was really a hard but valuable memory. Sometimes, they had to stand, it was not permitted to argue with tourists; sometimes, they even wanted to cry, but smiles had to be on theirs faces all the time. Volunteer was not an easy job, but they said that they didn't regret at all —— they responded to China, they won reputation for our nation!
So, volunteer is worth joining and valuing, though it is hard, you have gained the best award —— a kind heart。
Start your volunteer life now!
专家建议：
在不跑题前提下，内容虽然重要，但关键是语言的包装，建议多看些优秀范文，和英文原著，增加语感，这样文章会更传神。
专家点评：
文章思路清晰，叙述条理清楚，但句子之间的衔接做得不够，要多用连接词。此外，应多掌握一些词语的同义词，这样避免重复。在句式变换方便也要多下些功夫。
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