有奖调查：高三这一年得花多少钱
双一流 名单你读懂了吗 为何分成AB类
高三家长必须知道的9条自主招生政策
自主招生 读懂招生章程 专家建议自招早做准备
解密专业19期：神秘的中医药学
解密专业 聪明的孩子学物理
历史学
作文范例点评
范文一
The car abruptly stopped in front of him。 A woman hurriedly opened the door and stretched out her hand， shouting， “Get in！”Mac grabbed her hand without hesitation， leaving his bicycle lying on the road and jumped into the car.The moment he shut the door， he caught the glimpse of the fierce eyes and hungry look of the wolf by the door。 A cold feeling crept over his heart and made him shiver.However， the car had left the wolf far behind， which made him sigh with relief。 Mac thanked Paul and Becky and afterwards they pulled over by the road to wait for Mac’s friends。
A few minutes later， the two other cyclists arrived。 As soon as they met， his friends’ worried look faded away。 “Where have you been？ We saw your bicycle on the road。 ”His friend asked and these words like a penetrate of sunshine warmed his heart。 After Mac explained to them， they said farewell to Paul and Becky in sincerely indebtedness。 On the way home， night breeze made him at ease and he couldn’t wait to share his experience with his wife and children and show the kindness of the world。
〖点评〗
这篇文章语言上最大的特色是无灵主语的使用，即用无生命特征的名词做句子的主语。整篇11个句子，其中无灵主语就有5句，占了42%。（1）A cold feeling crept over his heart and made him shiver。（2）However， the car had left the wolf far behind， which made him sigh with relief。（3）As soon as they met， his friends’worried look faded away。（4）these words like a penetrate of sunshine warmed his heart。（5）On the way home， night breeze made him at ease。这样，同样含义的句子就由平淡变得生动有力了。如：Feeling indeed had smothered her judgment that day。（选自英国著名作家Thomas Hardy的小说Tess of the D’urbervilles）
语言上的第二大特色就是这篇文章词汇的使用，如indebtedness等于gratitude感激，pull over表达路边停车，这些都体现了较为深厚的语言功底。
但是，文章还是有些瑕疵。Mac grabbed her hand without hesitation，leaving his bicycle lying on the road and jumped into the car。这一句中应将leaving改为left，使其与前面的grabbed及后面的jumped 成为连贯动作，也可把jumped 改为jumping同leaving平行成为grabbed 的伴随状语；His friend asked and these words like a penetrate of sunshine warmed his heart。此句中的penetrate是个动词被错误地当做名词使用，可以改为His friend asked and these words like a ray of sunshine warmed his heart；After Mac explained to them， they said farewell to Paul and Becky in sincerely indebtedness。此句中的sincerely应该改为形容词修饰名词indebtedness。
