有奖调查:高三这一年得花多少钱
双一流 名单你读懂了吗 为何分成AB类
高三家长必须知道的9条自主招生政策
自主招生 读懂招生章程 专家建议自招早做准备
解密专业19期:神秘的中医药学
解密专业 聪明的孩子学物理
历史学
范文二
The car abruptly stopped in front of him。 Mac’s heart jumped wildly, and he dashed towards the car without the slightest hesitation for he knew it was his only chance。 It was a real race against time to make it! Thank god, Mac successfully made the door open and that fierce wolf was just around the corner。 The instant Mac settled him on the seat, Paul started the car in a flash。 The wolf had to give up and find another goal。 What a narrow escape! Mac collapsed into the seat and smiled bitterly。 The other two guys decided to stop at the gas station to have a rest。
A few minutes later, the two other cyclists arrived。 Seeing his friends, Mac felt a great weight taken off his mind。 His friends were amazed at Mac’s experience, for it was a miracle to escape from a hungry wolf! Mac thanked Paul and Becky again and again, but his appreciation was beyond words。 He said sincerely: “You can’t imagine how grateful I was, for I have been given a second life!” Tears gathered up in Mac’s eyes when he waved them goodbye。 It was obviously an unforgettable experience, and Mac would have a lot to share with his family after he got home。 It was his courage and other people’s kindness that saved him。
〖点评〗
从语言角度出发,这篇文章特征明显。首先是语言地道,表现在三处for的使用,(1)for he knew it was his only chance。(2)for it was a miracle to escape from a hungry wolf!(3) for I have been given a second life! 句子中使用for更加符合英语的思维习惯,尽管前后是并列关系,但是前面提供了主要的信息,然后进行补充说明。如:因为李越出色的表现,校长授予他“本周学生之星”荣誉称号。在这句话中,汉语的思维是先说原因,而英语的翻译则是先说结果:The president awarded Li Yue the title of “Star Student of the Week” for what she did for our class。 原因和结果的位置是有很大差异的。再者,此文章比较娴熟地使用了写作的各种技巧,如强调句的使用It was his courage and other people’s kindness that saved him。 感叹句的使用:(1)You can’t imagine how grateful I was,(2)What a narrow escape! 等等。
但是,这篇文章也存在一些不足。The instant Mac settled him on the seat, Paul started the car in a flash。此句中的him应该改为himself。第一段尾句The other two guys decided to stop at the gas station to have a rest。这句话与上下文脱节,起不到承上启下的作用,出现了情节逻辑的问题。
总的说来,该文章比较好地完成了读后续写的任务,既读懂了原文,又有比较好的语言功底将故事叙写下去。