托福写作满分评分标准解读及范文批改解读
托福[微博]写作 综合任务 满分评分标准解读
A response at this level successfullyselects the important information from the lecture and coherently andaccurately presents this information in relation to the relevant informationpresented in the reading. The response is well organized, and occasionallanguage errors that are present do not result in inaccurate or imprecisepresentation of content or connections。
1.selects the important information from the lecture and coherently andaccurately presents this information in relation to the relevant informationpresented in the reading
2.well organized
3.occasional language errors
要点 1：selects theimportant information from the lecture and coherently and accurately presentsthis information in relation to the relevant information presented in thereading
标准解读：
这是TOEFL综合写作的核心要点。托福综合写作不允许考生表达自己的观点， 而要求考生根据读到和听到的信息，写出一篇文章描述听力是如何反驳或支持了阅读的内容。(中国大陆地区迄今为止考查的都是“反驳”关系)。因此在综合写作里，首先要
“听懂”并且“正确提炼”听力的要点， 其次还要正确地将听力的要点与阅读的要点做好对应。 形象地说，如果阅读里的要点是A，B，C三个，听力所对应的则应该是A-(A否)，B-(B否)，C-(C否)。
最后，极智批改网提醒考生注意：在有些题目中，听力并没有按照阅读的要点排序进行反驳。 例如阅读的要点是A,B,C,
而听力反驳的顺序变为C否，A否，B否。这种情况下，各位考生也必须做好match(匹配)。 即便听出了A-，B-，C-，但是进行了错误的matching也会丢失分数。
要点 2：well organized
标准解读：
这里的组织既包含行文的组织要系统、有逻辑性，也包含了上文中讲到的要精确地把听力要点和阅读要点进行“matching”(匹配)的含义。
要点 3：occasional language errors
标准解读：
托福作文允许有错误存在。most一词表明一篇满分文章需要避免绝大部分的语法、用词错误。 同时这也表明个别的语法错误、用词不当以及诸如拼写，标点符号和大小写等错误不影响一篇文章得满分。对于托福综合写作来说，更重要的是文章的要点明确、逻辑通畅，语言的整体高水平。
TPO第8套综合写作真实批改报告
题型：托福综合写作
题目：TPO第8套
原文字数：298
批改时间：2013年04月26日 14：05
1The readingpassage 2focuses on the topic that 3the memoir written by Chevalier is not accurate, 4proved by some critics. However, in the lecture the professor challenges 5the view6, she thinks that the memoir is a reliable 7sourse for several reasons.
First , according to thereading material, Chevalier was not as wealthy as he claimed in 8the memoir because 9the he 10borrow much money from a merchant11, 12but the professor indicates that to spend money on 13the parities and gambling, he had to convert his assets 14to money15, 16and it is easy to be in short of money, so he 17borrowed 18some from 19the merchant and in fact lacking 20lash does not mean 21to a poor state.
In addition, the professorclaims that conversations between Chevalier and Voltaire, which 22is written in the memoir, 23is accurate.24and 25she 26support this point 27with the facts that every time 28after Chevalier finished talking with Voltaire, he would take notes, andsome 29witness 30in that time 31has confirmedthat Chevalier always consulted these notes when writing 32the memoir33, 34obviously, all of these facts are contrary to the conclusion in thereading that what Chevalier 35written 36in the memoir about 37the 38conversation 39could not exactly equal to that he worte.
Finally, 40while the reading passage41illustrates that Chevalier did not escape from the prison by himself and 42actually he was helped by his friends through bribery43, however, from the lecture we know that in the same prison there 44are many people whose 45friend 46are more powerful than Chevalier’s and none ofthese people 47has bribe 48the way out, showing that bribery is unreasonable49. What’s more, 50evidence thatthe ceiling of that prison 51was under repair soon after Chevalier left,52which comes from some old documents,53proves Chevalier’s 54own escape。
错误归类分析：
单词缺失：
1：修改建议：in。
49: 修改建议：as a conclusion。
50: 修改建议：there was。
选词错误：
2: 修改建议：critics argue。
3: 修改建议：Chevalier’s memoir(to be more concise)。
5: 修改建议：this。
8: 修改建议：his。
12: 修改建议：However,
16: 修改建议：Therefore。
18: 修改建议：money。
21: 修改建议：he was poor。
27: 修改建议：by saying that。
32: 修改建议：his。
37: 修改建议：his。
39: 修改建议：were not true。
41: 修改建议：states。
48: 修改建议：their。
多余文字：
4: 修改建议：put this earlier in the sentence to make this more concise。
9: 修改建议：no article。
14: 修改建议：you don’t need to say “to money” because that’s what convert assets means。
24: 修改建议：We rarely start a sentence with “and”。
28: 修改建议：you don’t need this world here。
