托福写作满分评分标准解读及范文批改解读(6)
Moreover, teachers do not havethe right to 40tell their 41views of social and political to students. Everyone 42have the freedom to distinguish what is good or 43not. 44They could have different views 45with the 46teachers, 47but teachers cannot tell them what is wrong or right. Not all 48the students really think or care about 49the country's political or 50society 51, however, 52if the teacher told about it, 53this will affect their thoughts. 54For some kids, they will not listen to the teachers an thinking that theyare wrong, but some kids will listen to it and forming the same view stronglythat might lead them to start spreading it everywhere. The dangerous thing isthat if they 55angeryly posted 56on the Internet, people who are opposed to it will 57comments poorly and this could affect their 58phycology problem.
To sum up, everyone 59have the right to think or 60believ in various 61way, 62and no one should tell someone that they are wrong.Also 63teacher spending time talking about theirperspective of the political and social64 is not what they should be doing in the 65classroom 66than 67teaching students some academic subjects. Therefore I totally agree withthe statement 68with two major reasons 69i 70present above。
错误归类分析：
选词错误：
1：修改建议：with。
9：修改建议：be quiet about their personal beliefs。
10: 修改建议：while。
25: 修改建议：impart。
31: 修改建议：charge。
40: 修改建议：discuss。
43: 修改建议：bad。
44: 修改建议：Studentsmight。
50: 修改建议：social。
53: 修改建议：it。
66: 修改建议：but instead。
68: 修改建议：given the。
单词缺失：
2: 修改建议：have。
6: 修改建议：different issues in。
7: 修改建议：people。
12: 修改建议：on the。
51: 修改建议：aspects。
56: 修改建议：such matters。
64: 修改建议：aspects。
时态错误：
3: 修改建议：started。
32: 修改建议：expressing。
37: 修改建议：hopes。
42: 修改建议：has。
57: 修改建议：comment。
59: 修改建议：has。
67: 修改建议：teach。
70: 修改建议：presented。
单复数错误：
4: 修改建议：thoughts。
15: 修改建议：posters。
19: 修改建议：teachers。
61: 修改建议：ways。
介词错误：
5: 修改建议：about。
33: 修改建议：about。
38: 修改建议：for。
45: 修改建议：from。
多余文字：
8: 修改建议：Omit。
11: 修改建议：Omit。
16: 修改建议：Never use thisphrase in a formal essay。
18: 修改建议：The foregoingclause already has an inferred meaning. This one is not needed。
29: 修改建议：Not needed。
39: 修改建议：Not required。
标点错误：
13: 修改建议：Omit。
17: 修改建议：。
21: 修改建议：。
27: 修改建议：。
30: 修改建议：,
35: 修改建议：。
63: 修改建议：,
65: 修改建议：,
连词错误：
14: 修改建议：or。
47: 修改建议：use “however”。
可数名词错误：
20: 修改建议：knowledge。
格式错误：
22: 修改建议：Or if I mayask, what is。
28: 修改建议：We pay to goto school, and in class, all the parents want is their children to receive theright education but not teacher’s social or political views。
36: 修改建议：This will havea grave effect on。
52: 修改建议：If teachersdiscuss this with them。
54: 修改建议：For some kids,the teacher’s talk might be of little concern as they might take it to bewrong, however, some might take it as the gospel truth and would thus spread iteverywhere。
62: 修改建议：and no oneshould tell another whether he or she is wrong or not。
冠词错误：
23: 修改建议：a。
