托福写作满分评分标准解读及范文批改解读(4)
托福[微博]写作要求考生根据语境选择“恰当的用词”。在托福写作中，考生不需要哗众取宠的用“大词、难词”来显示词汇量。 真正的高手是用简单但精确的词语来阐述深刻的道理。
要点 7: minor errors
托福作文允许有错误存在。most一词表明一篇满分文章需要避免绝大部分的语法、用词错误。 同时这也表明个别的语法错误、用词不当以及诸如拼写，标点符号和大小写等错误不影响一篇文章得满分。对于托福写作来说，更重要的是文章的要点明确、逻辑通畅，语言的整体高水平。
TPO第2套独立写作真实批改报告
题型：托福独立写作
题目：TPO第2套
原文字数：374
批改时间：2013年02月26日 15：03
A 1people who want to 2hav e3a good 4friend must 5have some definite goals in mind. For the people who wants have a goodinterpersonal relationship quickly and make others believe him firsthand, thereis often method to telling the truth.6There may be 7one 8disadvantage 9of telling the truth10However, I believe that there are 11for more advantages.12In summary, I think that always telling the truth is the mostimportant 13consideration inany relationship between people。
First of all, one minor 14disadvantages of telling the truth 15inclues that without regard to felling of others and irrespective of lickthat people whether of not. For 16instance, my grandmother 17is smoker; she has been smoking for 30 years.18One day, I learn the knowledge that smoking short the life, 19then I telling the truth to my grandmother, she as heard the truth sooncried. 20Apparently, I should 21not tell the truth 22to her, so telling the truth should consider the situation of others. Eventhough there 23maybe 24one disadvantages 25of telling the truth, the advantages far 26more outweigh them. By telling the truth, 27the people have an excellent opportunity to improve28 29his 30interpersonal relationship. For example, my 31bother always 32telling the truth33, 34all of his classmates consider 35that he is a honest, 36therefore , he is the most popular student in 37the class, 38his interpersonal is excellent。
Another 39advantage of telling the truth is 40that the people can be believed, 41once people know that 42he is an honest 43man and then people will redouble his trust on him. Trust is veryimportance, since if people trust you, then he will tell you the truth, such asyour drawback. The people who learn the drawback of oneself by other people ismore likely to 44success。
Although I agree that there 45maybe 46onedisadvantage 47of telling thetruth, I feel that48advantages aremore 49obvious. People can have a good interpersonalrelationship. In addition, people will find 50himself in an 51atmosphere which others trust 52you more. In my opinion, these are the two important goals for him, andtelling the truth is the best way to achieve 53then54, 55thus, I 56suppose thatalways telling the truth is the most important 57consideration in any relationship between people。
错误归类分析：
选词错误：
1: 修改建议：person。
13: 修改建议：aspect。
16: 修改建议：example。
49: 修改建议：prominent/significant。
51: 修改建议：position。
56: 修改建议：think。
57: 修改建议：aspect。
打字错误(TYP)：
2: 修改建议：have。
53: 修改建议：them。
冠词错误：
3: 修改建议：delete “a”。
37: 修改建议：his。
48: 修改建议：the。
单复数错误：
4: 修改建议：friends。
8: 修改建议：disadvantages。
46: 修改建议：disadvantages。
句子过长：
5: 修改建议：know of certain methods to attain them, such as(repetition of firstsentence meaning)。
连词错误：
6: 修改建议：Although。
12: 修改建议：This is a concluding statement which does not belong in the middle of anintroduction。
20: 修改建议：In this case。
34: 修改建议：Therefore。
36: 修改建议：making him。
修饰词错误：
7: 修改建议：certain。
11: 修改建议：far。
26: 修改建议：delete。
介词错误：
9: 修改建议：when。
25: 修改建议：to。
28: 修改建议：on。
47: 修改建议：to。
多余文字：
10: 修改建议：delete “However”。
24: 修改建议：delete “one”。
38: 修改建议：delete “his interpersonal is excellent”。
单词重复过多：
14: 修改建议：setback。
39: 修改建议：benefit。
中式英语(CHI)：
15: 修改建议：is that it can be deemed rude or received poorly by others。
