At last, the speaker 10considers that the mussels would not necessarily be negative to the newhabitats. Instead, they can become positive factors11. Because they can provide nutrients for the live creatures 12in bottom sea and feeding them。

　　错误归类分析：

　　选词错误：

　　1： 批改解释：Poor diction. 修改建议：counter。

　　10: 批改解释：Poor choice of word. 修改建议：believes。

　　冠词错误：

　　2: 批改解释：an article is missing. 修改建议：the。

　　6: 批改解释：Not needed. 修改建议：Omit。

　　7: 批改解释：an article is missing. 修改建议：an。

　　拼写错误(SPL)：

　　3: 批改解释：spelling error. 修改建议：possibility。

　　8: 批改解释：Wrong spelling. 修改建议：opinion。

　　介词错误：

　　4: 批改解释：Poor use of preposition. 修改建议：Omit。

　　5: 批改解释：Poor choice of preposition. 修改建议：in。

　　单词缺失：

　　9: 批改解释：a word is missing. 修改建议：different。

　　大小写错误：

　　11: 批改解释：Capitalization error. 修改建议：because。

　　格式错误：

　　12: 批改解释：Poor phrasing. 修改建议：at the bottom of the sea。

　　得分3.0分(满分5分)

　　任务完成情况 Development and Details

　　充分阐述听力材料中的观点，并指出其与阅读短文的关系

　　Presented the points in the lecture and the relationshipto the reading。

　　文章组织和结构 Organization & Structure

　　能够表现出听力材料和阅读材料中的观点以及他们的关系。结构连贯清晰

　　Clear, coherent structure stating the points in eachpassage and their relationship。

　　论点扩展和细节运用 Development & Details

　　准确阐说两个材料中的每个观点及它们的关系

　　Accurate presentation of each point in both passages andtheir relationship。

　　语法 Grammar

　　能运用标准的书面英语，包括语法，词汇，拼写及标点

　　Command of the elements of Standard Written English,incl. grammar, word usage, spelling, and punctuation。

　　整体评分 Holistic Assessment

　　表达清晰、文章连贯流畅

　　Level of clarity, cohesion and fluency in the presentationof the text。

　　总评

　　You have developed a good analysis of the argumentgiven. The introduction is good but needs further development. “The two piecespresent information about Zebra mussel, however, the listening offers counterarguments to the reading passage。”. This is a simple but more advancedintroduction. Develop a thesis statement at the end of the introduction。“Though the reading presents worthy views about Zebra Mussels, without goodsubstantiation, it is rendered dilute by the lecture。”. The analysis in themain body is logically well structured. It is commendable that you presentedthe arguments in the reading before the counter arguments in the lecture. Youought to put the views in separate paragraphs however short, for clear organization.Try to develop good topic sentences at the beginning of the main bodyparagraphs. The essay lacks a conclusion. There are some grammar errors thatneed to be addressed. These include formation errors like “in bottom sea。” Makea review of the articles and avoid poor diction. These have affected thecoherence of the essay. Try to employ some advanced sentence structures andmore vocabulary where possible。

　　托福[微博]写作 独立任务 满分评分标准解读

　　An essay at this level largelyaccomplishes all of the following:

　　1. Effectively addresses the topic and task

　　2. Is well organized and well developed, usingclearly appropriate explanations, exemplifications, and/ordetails

　　3. Displays unity, progression, and coherence

　　4. Displays consistent facility in the use of language, demonstrating syntactic

　　variety, appropriate word choice, and idiomaticity, though it may have minor lexical orgrammatical errors。

　　标准解读：

　　要点 1: addresses the topic

　　在托福写作中，考生所表达的观点要和题目要求相关、一致。另外，考生所提供的例证也要切题，只有这样的例子才有说服力。

　　要点 2: well organized & well developed

　　托福满分作文的行文组织要系统，有逻辑性。考生在提出论点之后，必须寻找相关的例证来支持和充实自己的论点。 需要强调的是，在托福考试中考[微博]生虽然可以发散地进行说理和寻找例证，但若是将自己所举的例证进行一定加工，按照由主到次、让步转折等顺序进行排列，则能更好显示出各个例证之间的逻辑关系，让举例或是说理论证的过程更有层次性。这样的文章才称得上well-organized and well-developed。

　　要点 3: explanations,exemplificationsand details

　　在托福写作中，考生提出观点之后必须要发散式地进行举例或是说理论证。具体包括解释原因，举例说明以及提供其它的细节信息。

　　要点 4: unity,progression,and coherence

　　托福满分作文通篇要做到：

　　1. 论点集中(unity)--所有的论据都指向论点；

　　2. 逻辑通畅(progression and coherence)--不同段落之间要连接紧密、衔接过渡自然并层层推进。

　　想要做到以上几点，考生需要合理地谋篇布局、进行最优化的段落分配并恰当地使用逻辑连接词。

　　要点 5: variety

　　用词用句的多样性和变化性能有效地体现语言的丰富性以及使用技巧。

　　要点 6: appropriate wordchoice and idiomaticity

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