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考研英语40篇大作文演练与点评第18篇

http://www.sina.com.cn   2008年12月12日 16:35   恩波教育

  18 Study the following pictures carefully and write an essay in which you should:

  1. describe the picture;

  2. interpret the meaning of the picture;

  3. make your comment.

  You should write 160~200 words neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2.

  该文可分三段来写。第一段描述图画,第二段从正反两个方面对画中叙述的道理进行阐释,第三段作结。A mountaineer is climbing along the main road when he comes to a crossroads. He is wondering whether to choose the small track to go to the summit. Besides the picture there is a sentence: the shortcut is often the worst choice. This picture sets me thinking for a long time. It is the instant reaction for a person to seek a shortcut when facing problems or difficulties. Then how could it be the worst choice?

  Rough is the road that leads to greatness. In real life, if a person wants to make great achievements, it is unquestionable that he has to sustain years and years of hard struggle. A scientist has to make thousands of experiments so as to make inventions and breakthroughs, and a painter, a singer and a sportsman has to practice again and again to achieve perfection. As for a student, if he wants to attain his goal in life, he has to choose his own road at a very young age and hold on to it until he finally succeeds. On the contrary, many people get used to choosing the shortcut: some of them try hard to attain goals through “special relationships”, some of them take advantages of the loopholes in rules and regulations to make personal profits and others attribute success to sheer luck. In many cases, when people depend too much on the external factors, they lose the impetus to constantly improve themselves, and success remains a dream.

  How long will it take for a person to turn his dream into reality? How much does he have to pay before he finally realizes that in most cases shortcuts are dead ends? It is a pity that many people will never realize that such roads lead to nowhere before it is too late. 第一段首先对图画进行了描述,之后说遇到问题或困难时想找捷径是自然反应,那么它又怎么会是最坏的选择呢?这样就以问题作为过渡句,对下文的解释做了铺垫。

  第二段是全文最重要的部分,分为两方面来说。前四句讲第一方面。第一句说通向伟大的道路都是崎岖的。第二句说如果一个人想要做出成就,就需要多年的艰苦奋斗。第三句与第四句是举例。后两句是第二部分。第五句说许多人惯于选择捷径,并在冒号后进行了举例。最后一句说在许多情况下,当人们过多地依赖于外部因素时,他们将失去不断提升自己的动力,而成功就只能是一个梦想。

  最后一段是总结。前两句是连续的问句,力度很强。第一句问一个人要多长时间才能将梦想变为现实?这呼应了整个第二段。第二句问他付出多少才能明白在多数情况下捷径都是死胡同?这是呼应第二段的第二部分。第三句说遗憾的是许多人将永远无法明白这些路无法通达,直到太迟。这句话表面是对上一句话的回答,实际上是将问题的解释与现实情况的描述相结合,为全文划上了句号。该句中以动词词组lead to nowhere表达与名词词组dead ends相近的意思,值得品味。另外大家注意学习before的用法,相当典型。清晰、合理的模式的运用会令读者认为作者对英语写作有着正确的基本认识,这包括段落的总体安排、段间的呼应与段内的组织。而在大的框架确立之后,如果不是考试等“有控制的写作”,大的模式都不会相对固定,写作就变得更为灵活多变。近几年大家渐渐感觉在业界内英语写作的地位日渐彰显,做business leader尤其如此,看来此趋势必将更盛。有想到美国、加拿大等国留学的同学们一定注意,清晰的逻辑与缜密的推理虽然重要,动人的情感表达更能让你鹤立鸡群。反过来说,如果狂读、多思、讨论的密集式学习能由个人或集体实现,用来替代国内目前的松散式英语学习,美加还有必要去吗?

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