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考研英语40篇大作文演练与点评第21篇
21 Study the following pictures carefully and write an essay in which you should:
1. describe the two pictures;
2. give the reasons of such a phenomenon;
3. list possible solutions.
You should write 160~200 words neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2.
这篇文章的结构很典型，而选择的写法却很特殊——我们选择兼顾图画所体现的两方面的问题，即自私和违反规则两个方面。如果第一段这样来点明，那么第二段和第三段均应这样展开，使文章形成一个有机的整体。In the first picture, two persons are talking loudly in the library as if they were the only persons there. In the second picture, a man is talking happily on the phone in the cinema, while a film is on. From these two pictures, we come across such people who are so selfish as to always think of themselves instead of others on the one hand, and who are so bold as to defy those rules and regulations on the other hand.
Why do they behave in this way? On the one hand, they are brought up in such a way as to take their own interests into consideration whenever anything arises. This may not be the original purpose of parents and teachers, but this is largely the result of todays education. Children learn from what adults do, not what they say. Years of teaching in class and family may tell them how to do, but hours of reallife practice may be more influential. On the other hand, they are brought up in such a way as not to take rules and regulations seriously. In their belief, rules and regulations only restrain those silly people, and the violation of them can be both exciting and admirable.
To solve this problem, all of us have a long way to go. First, teachers and parents should act in such a way to teach young children to always take others into consideration whenever they take action. Second, the authorities should severely punish anyone who violates rules and regulations. To protect the rights of more people, such punishment is more than necessary. 第一段先用两句话描述两幅图画，而后用一句话做总结，用on the one hand和on the other hand将问题的两个方面清晰地表达了出来。
第二段的首句没有使用传统的表示原因的模板句，如The reasons for this phenomenon are twofold / threefold.而是用了一个设问句，使行文显得生动活泼。之后分两个方面来说明为何他们会自私和不遵守规则。
第三段首句是典型的办法类的模板句。而后分两方面来说解决问题的办法，与第一段、第二段严格对应。这篇文章给我们留下的最大的印象就是前后呼应，三段采用了同样的结构，读来自然、流畅。
就句子写作而言，内部突出对比的句子总是给人留下深刻的印象，下面我们就以第二段的第一点为例来说明。这一点分四句话，后三句都属于句内表示对比的情形。第二句话一针见血——这不一定是父母和老师的初衷，但却是今天教育的结果。大家自然要想，为何结果偏离了初衷呢？下面接着说，孩子们学的是大人的做法，而不是说法。这句话简练、深刻。下面一句最为精彩，多年的学校和家庭教育告诉他们如何去做，而数小时的实践可能更有影响力。这明确地说明，只有投入了真实的生活之中，孩子们才能真正有所体会，才能真正成长。没有真实生活的洗礼，孩子们又怎能了解人生的真理，怎能为他人考虑呢？
好的句子是深入思索(思想方面)和不断练习(语言方面)相结合的结果，只要我们不懈努力，总有达到“何意百炼钢，化为绕指柔”的那一天。
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