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考研英语40篇大作文演练与点评第11篇
11
Study the following picture carefully and write an essay in which you should:
1. describe the picture；
2. interpret the meaning of the picture;
3. make your comment.
You should write 160~200 words neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2.
由图可知，本文属于社会热点类文章。图画非常简洁，可以用一句话描述出来。这种情况比较特殊，可以将图画的描写与图画的总体解读放在第一段来写。第二段写此种现象的危害性，第三段写解决问题的办法，第四段作总结。In the picture, we see a “key” that is made up of piles of money. Besides the picture, we see the title of the picture—the key that is not a key. What does the drawer want to convey to us in such a single yet thoughtprovoking picture? After pondering, we finally find out that he is pointing at a deteriorating social phenomenon—some people form the habit of using money, instead of anything else, as the key to solving personal problems and gaining even illegal profits.
This practice is extremely harmful to the functioning and order of the whole society. On the one hand, it deprives the social system of its most distinctive feature—fairness. If we let it go on like this, after some time, people will lose the motive to develop their skills and enhance their ability, which are essential and indispensable to the making of any healthy, competitive and harmonious community. On the other hand, it may make the education of the younger generation exceedingly difficult—years of education may be forgotten once they step into the society and touch the harsh reality.
To put this unfavorable phenomenon to an end, the government should take the lead—the education of common people will take effect only when the real system restores its purity and officials observe selfdiscipline. Second, the media should facilitate the cultivation of healthy competition and highlight the importance of selfdevelopment. Last but not the least, everybody should behave and discipline at least himself instead of just complaining about the harsh reality—if nobody goes into the backdoor, the vicious circle will finally disappear.
Fairness does not come easily. With it, the pursuit of happiness will be made much easier as the social cost has been lowered significantly. We strongly believe that everybody needs it and everybody should observe it. Only when everybody puts it into practice will all of the social members enjoy higher living quality. 第一段头两句分别描述图画和点出标题。第三句和第四句通过设问句与破折号的使用引出了绘画者所想提示的社会现象。这种写法的好处是展示了简明图画表达深刻含义的事实，并定格了由看图到解图的全过程。
第二段写了该做法对社会的巨大危害。第一句是统领句，句中的functioning和order分别指“运行”和“顺序”。然后分两点来说，一方面说它剥夺了社会体系最显著的特征，即公平。如果任其继续，过一段时间人们将会失去自我发展和提高的动力，而这些对于健康、竞争与和谐的社会的建造是不可或缺的。句中使用了平行的动宾词组和形容词，请大家注意体会。另一方面说这种现象使得对年轻一代的教育越发困难——一旦他们步入社会、接触到残酷的现实，多年的教育可能就被遗忘。
第三段写的是解决办法。第一句使用了不定式直接加第一点的写法，显得非常简洁。句中take effect表示“起作用”，selfdiscipline表示“自律”。第二点说的是媒体的作用，句中facilitate和highlight分别指“促进”和“强调”。第三点说的是个人的做法。句中vicious circle表示“恶性循环”。
第四段是总结性段落。段落紧扣在第二段提出，在第三段得到深化的“公平”概念。首句说公平来之不易。第二句说有了它，对幸福的追求将会容易得多，因为社会成本大大降低了。之后说我们坚信每个人都需要它，每个人也应该遵守它。最后一句说只有每个人身体力行，所有社会成员的生活质量才能提高。该文用简洁的图画表达深刻的道理，这种类型讲一个问题或一种现象，一定要一针见血，认准问题或现象，然后深入剖析。
写文章时对全文的构造要有个总体的安排，除了提纲中有明确规定的情形外，写成“原因——后果——解决办法”结构是常见的选择。
在安排好全文结构后，一定要在段间呼应和段落的逻辑发展上下足工夫，这样就容易取得较好的效果。比如最后一段，第一句直接呼应了第二段的第一点，实际上这也是第三段一直讨论的内容。第二句紧接第一句说了公平的重要性。第三句趁热打铁说每个人都需要它，也一定要遵守它——这一句很妙，前半句呼应了上一句，后半句引出了下一句。最后一句是倒装句，很有力度，前半句紧接上句，后半句说美好的结果，又扣了该段第二句的开头。就是这种环环相扣、细针密缕的写法，将文章编织成了有机的整体，获得了预想的效果。
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