19) Why do you want to study in USA?

　　As well known, the graduate schools in the States have the most advanced technology and best faculty in the world. Also, I think that there're much more to learn, like their attitude toward their research work and their innovation spirit, which are of great importance to a researcher..

　　20) Why do you want to pursue a doctor's degree? + Why PhD at Maryland?

　　Because I want to be a researcher in the future, and I can be better prepared through pursuing a doctor's degree.

　　21) Why do you receive financial aid from this Univ.?

　　I think that's because of my excellent academic achievements and unusual research experience as an undergraduate.

　　22) What is the difficult class do you have?

　　Physical Education, I'm afraid. I'm not good at sports.

　　23) Do you want your wife to go with you?

　　I don't, and I won't have one.

　　24) Why do you change your major?

　　I don't …

　　25) What's the difference between your major now and the major in USA?

　　Exactly, there's no big difference between them. My major in USA will be more specific and more concentrated than my current major, but basically, they got no big difference.

　　Version 2. 根据25问和我的专业特点, 具体指导我修改了Why PhD和回国计划

　　20) Why do you want to pursue a doctor's degree? Why PhD in Maryland?

　　Actually, I'm not just going to pursue a doctoral degree. What I really want is to have my graduate study in Maryland, exactly speaking, to learn about integrated energy system under the instruction of Prof. Radermacher. I'm very interested in this program, which has great potential in China, while now there's few people here verse in it, so I want to be a researcher of it. And the PhD graduate study there can best fit my career objective.

　　I started to be attracted by the integrated energy system ever since I got to know it through a professor's introduction about that. (generally speaking, it can make on site power generation, and in the meantime, the thermal energy, which will otherwise be wasted, can be used for cooling and heating. So, through using this system, energy resources can be greatly saved and also, it's very good for environmental protection. You know, it's financially beneficial and also meaningful to people.) And, Maryland has one of the best research centers for this system in the world, besides, my future advisor, Prof. Radermacher is an internationally recognized expert in this area. Actually, I was recommended to him by the professor who introduced this system to me last fall, and I do think learning in this center, under his advising, is the best choice for my graduate study.

　　很快,他们反馈发回的修改建议：

　　Too complicated and messed up. You should put it in this way, like:

　　a.I just don't want any...

　　b.I am interested in this area and a PhD will help me to learn more, esp. Maryland's PhD in …

　　c.This area is very promising and a degree from Maryland will enable me to find a very satisfactory position in a leading … company/government

　　Rocky的修改建议：

　　Talk more about your contact with this professor in a more straightforward way and emphasize that it was through your constant correspondence with this Prof. that made you determined to go to Maryland Univ.

　　Topic sentences are needed to summarize your main ideas and points. You should mention the topic sentences first to give the VO and clear and concise point, and then elaborate if the VO is interested and time allows. You don't want to beat around the bush and make people confused at all.

　　3 plans

　　1, The professor who has recommended me to Prof. Radermacher is now discussing with Shanghai government about establishing a new research center for integrated energy system, which will be my focus in the next 5 years. The government is very interested in this project, you know, it can save lots of energy and is environmentally benign. But in China, the research of it is just at its beginning, so they badly need researchers that can take the job. I hope I can join this center and do my best there after graduation.

　　2, Many big corporations are very interested in this new system, as it's very beneficial. And many of them have research institutes in shanghai, some of them are in the consortium with the CEEE center in Maryland. As you know, there're many big buildings in Shanghai, and the price of energy is rising by the using of natural gas here, so this city will be a big market with great potential. Since researchers are very important to develop a new technology, yet here in China, this technology is at its beginning,) I'm sure that I can find a good position in one of them in Shanghai after graduation.

　　www.enme.umd.edu/ceee/bchp/consortium.htm (这个是consortium的名单，不过我不知道应不应该带去，因为里面有很多美国的公司还有美国能源部)

　　3，Frankly, I have discussed with my friends about the possibility of establishing our own company in Shanghai 5 years later. With the great demand of market, I do think this will be a feasible way and could be very beneficial.

　　针对画线部分(new technology)，Rocky的建议是：

　　I think refinement is a better way of expression. The VO might ask you "what if you can't find a NEW technology?" You should concentrate on the great potential of reusage of energy recycling of energy or key words like "profitable" or "energy conservation", etc.)

　　Also pls search for supporting material on the web or from some documents (remember Gu, Yang printed IBM, MS recruiting webpage, the webpage of a CMU alum who became a MS top manager)

　　Version 3. 根据上述修改建议, 我修改了两个核心问题, 并在Rocky的指导下, 准备了补充材料。

　　I just don't want any PhD degree. Actually, what I want is Maryland's PhD for my graduate study. Study in Maryland can best fit my long-term career objective as a researcher.

　　I'll focus on the area of integrated energy system in my graduate study. I'm very interested in it and a PhD will help me to learn more, esp. Maryland's. Maryland has one of best research centers for this system of the world, and my future advisor, is an internationally recognized expert of it. For learning and researching about this area, I don't think there's anywhere more suitable for me than Maryland.

　　And, this area is very promising and a degree from Maryland will enable me to find a very satisfactory position in a leading company or a government institute in China after graduation.

　　Besides, I've know my future advisor since last fall. After learned something about integrated energy system from a professor in our school, I started to be attracted by it deeply. Coincidentally, Prof. Radermacher came to Shanghai to take part in an academic conference, and that professor recommended me to him then. Then, through e-mail correspondence, I found that he is not only an authority in this area, but also a kind teacher; and also, I learned more about this research center. It's because of that that I determined to spend the next 5 years there.